The Room: December & January

The work on my bedroom is finally done!

Well, my room was officially finished on the 20th December, which made Christmas entirely stressful trying to move in beforehand. Anyway, I decided it might be a good idea to document the progress on here -not just visually but also how it came together, piece by piece. So, with that said, this is what we got done in December and January.

Obviously the first port of call is a bed. With the space being quite long and narrow (at least compared to my old room) I decided the best way to fit a double bed was to do so lengthways with the room. My room is on the ground floor to aid my mobility and give me a bit more of a family life. Because of the layout of our home, I had to have a larger window to double as a fire exit -which I totally love, however I haven’t been able to enjoy due to the lack of blind. Because my room was completed so close to Christmas, and due to it’s unusual measurements, it was impossible to get a blind up before Christmas. Many places take around 3-6 weeks to make custom blind and that’s before fitting it. Due to this, and other contributing factors including nosey neighbours, my mother and I wrapped my window in Christmas paper.

Once we had these two things sorted, we then worked on the next biggest piece of furniture: my desk. I went for the Malm desk with the pull-out panel purely because of how big it is and how much room it has underneath it. The pull-out panel is ideal for extra room but also great to not have it out permanently too.

The next things we did were move my chest of draws, which I had to significantly downsize on, and then bring a clothes rail in. This was about all we could do in the short timespan we had leading up to Christmas but it was enough for the time being.

I also found that I had massively underestimated how many belongings I had so as I moved into the room I found had to offload a lot of my belongings and reassess some of my furniture choices. These images depict how my room progressed in late December and throughout January -the main difference between the two months being the wrapping paper cloaking the window changed from Christmas themed to normal wrapping paper.

Cheerio for now!

The comfort in discomfort

The weather has always had an effect on me -not in a bad way, but rather a thought-provoking way. As I listen to the Summer rain cascading down my window, I can’t help but let my mind wander from this to that. I never started this space with anything in particular in mind to share. This is not a space devoted to beauty or travel (although those things do appear from time to time), but rather just the written word in general. And so, I find myself typing away: jotting down my idle musings. Perhaps these words shall never be read, which is quite alright. 

For the past three years now, I have been in an area -more so a full on arena- of discomfort. When I say discomfort, I mean physical unrest; and I mean this within the realm of my physical habitat.

Now I know, I have mentioned my living situation more than once on here -but it’s really difficult to not talk about something when it effects you in such an evident way.

With my bedroom being on the ground floor, and not being insulated at all, I have found myself in a cycle of floods and damage from rainwater which have felt never-ending at times. Just as I would find a new way to cope with this dishevelled way of living another curveball would be hit my way and another pair of Birkenstocks would be ruined from the dirt and grit that the flow of rainwater brought into my make-shift bedroom.

I don’t want to sound like this is a p!ssed off rant because quite honestly it isn’t. It’s merely a sigh of relief as I throw my hands in the air and let go of all expectations for what’s to come. I think the more expectations you have the more let down you become in the long run; and my mental health just doesn’t need that.

Instead, I’m starting to fall into the new routine of finding comforts in my discomfort. I have started to find comfort in the small pleasures and little things which give me that smile and spark of joy in my heart. Things like a new book, a heavenly scented candle and even an early night (yup, I’m getting old).

I don’t know when this period of unrest will end but i’m okay with the idea of ‘not being okay’; and for now, I think that’s good enough.

Stay tuned

Where have I been?

I think it’s time to end this intermission.

I decided last year to take a break from this space. Did I find myself in a funk? Not quite. Had I gone into hiatus? Perhaps. Quite frankly I have no idea what to call it so lets just go through the motions, shall we?

I have been trying to reach a state of equilibrium -which, even as I type this now, I have yet to reach. There have been quite a few things holding me back from that destination.

Room

I am someone who is highly influenced by their environment, and as a homebody I find myself paying a lot of attention to the interiors that I occupy daily. Given that I live and work in these quarters, it’s incredibly important to me. However, after moving in early 2017, and not being firmly planted anywhere before or since then, I have found myself becoming restless for a stable abode.

The nature of my living situation has caused me to be uprooted multiple times throughout the past three years, and while I had managed to stay inspired and keep my creativity going to begin with, the past year has been a bit trickier. I find myself having all these great ideas and lightbulb moments but when it comes to executing them I hit a brick wall and the project falls flat. I have since figured out that this problem is purely down to my environment, or lack of: so I’m hoping I can get it together soon.

Take a (brain) Break

Another contributing factor to this intermission, has been taking a break from the mental exertion of social media. With blogging, there is this not-so-hidden pressure to be on all platforms of social media and to produce fresh content for each platform to remain relevant and ‘successful’. But what about those of us, like myself, who aren’t aspiring to a career or masses of success in this field? Over the past two-three years, I have felt this unyielding pressure to push myself more and more in curating the perfect social media platforms. Grooming them to be these perfectly organised and aesthetically pleasing areas to promote myself. *vom*.

With my boyfriend having taken many social media breaks in the past, I finally decided to do the same just after Christmas. I will touch on this more in another post on the subject, because in all honesty I could write paragraphs upon paragraphs on the subject; however, I will say it was eye-opening and (dare I say, with the fear of sounding overdramatic) life-changing. I could not recommend it enough, but as I said -there will be a post coming with waaayyyy more detail about this.

Back Injury

So, I fell down the stairs and aged my body by fifty years. Although, my injuries are much better now this fall put a bit of a bump in the works of everything I had planned in terms of uni and this space here. It was like taking 10 steps backwards but I feel like I am slowly getting back onto the straight and narrow.

So what now? Well to be honest -I don’t have a plan really. There are some posts I have in mind and I have a fair pile of them in my drafts which I had produced before the intermission so I might publish them soon and then the new posts. Who knows.

Stay tuned 

The Reality of Reality

My reality lately has been an endless reel of studying, medical appointments, rushed meals, ‘chores’, and passing out at the end of the day. I have been drained – like ‘battery is empty, I’m falling asleep and dribbling while standing‘ drained.

As some people know, my boyfriend has been off work for some time due to health reasons and since then everything has been a little more tricky to balance. I think it’s pretty natural to feel quite stressed when your significant other is going through something that neither of you can control. I feel like I was doing fine and keeping the balance until a series of events happened in my own life. For instance…

My Tortoise Died

It doesn’t sound like much but my tortoise, Malcolm died a couple of months ago. While he’s only a tortoise to some, it really took a toll on me and I felt incredibly low. Last year when we moved, I struggled a little with the idea of leaving my childhood home (the only home I have ever known) but what made it easier was having our black lab Myles and Malcolm. When Myles passed away last October it was heartbreaking but what eased it a little was that I still had Malcolm. When we discovered Malcolm had died I crumbled. I felt empty and numb, and couldn’t help but feel as though I had lost everything. It was really hard for a few weeks but it’s getting easier.

My Bedroom Flooded

Yes you heard correctly friends. In the series of rain/thunderstorms we had at the end of May, my room experienced some flash flooding. I was in the crisp aisle of Asda when I got the phone call to say it was flooded and had to drive home in the thunderstorms to help where I could. What didn’t help was that this happened a week before my big uni exam and wrecked my MacBook charger (I was doing my exam on my MacBook so this caused a lot of stress).

The Wrath of a Chronic Illness

Anyone who either suffers, or knows someone who suffers from a chronic illness will know that the aftermath of doing pretty much anything is a b!tch. As I previously mentioned, a week after my bedroom had flooded I had my uni exam which was four hours long. It was exhausting and I can’t remember the last time I felt this drained or run down. Even now, I wouldn’t say that I have truly recovered just yet – I think the drama going on with my bedroom is steadily sucking the life out of me – but i’m listening to my body as best as I can and I’m resting when I need it.

Little Things 

Then theres little things that have slotted themselves here and there, like doctors appointments, etc which aren’t anything major but just make life a little bit trickier to navigate when you have so many other things going on.

All in all, I am so happy that summer has arrived and usually this would be my downtime from uni however, I am starting to realise that my downtime probably won’t happen until Autumn has arrived or my room has been completely sorted. Either way I know that summer won’t be a chilled out as it usually is. That’s the reality of reality right now.

Cheerio for now! 

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Inspire Me Lately

*side note: I wrote this post two months ago and totally forgot to post it: but I suppose it’s better late than never! 

There’s been a lot of things inspiring me lately, here are a few of them…

  • This video from Jenn at Clothes Encounters. In this video, she recreated looks inspired by famous works of art. I absolutely love this video and the way it mixes art with fashion and almost and quirky, fancy dress element. I also love that she discusses each painting and a little bit about its’ background -as someone who has studied art history, I really appreciated that. 
  • I have listened to The Ladygang podcast on and off for just under a year now. I find that I’ll go ages without checking out my podcasts and then suddenly binge-listening to them all in a couple of days. When this happens I find that I love one or two episodes way more than the others. This time it was the Whitney Port episode and the Ru Paul one. Now as someone who has the box set for the Hills and the City -I loved the episode with Whitney Port, but the episode with Ru Paul was just on a whole other level of inspiring. His words and life views were beyond enlightening for me, and I think I listened to this episode at a point when I truly needed it. One motto that he mentioned which I absolutely fell in love with was ‘Unless they paying your bills, pay them bees no mind‘ -which I mean, is just perfect for me to keep in mind. I’m someone who gets too paranoid about what people think or how they’ll perceive what I do when in reality it doesn’t really matter all that much at all. 
  • I love this video from Violette at violette_fr. I love the way she chooses a different location for each of her videos and her looks appear so polished and well curated. The shots and camera work seems so natural and effortless while being true to the theme of the video. I also really enjoyed this video she produced a while back. 
  • I have also been loving the Youtube videos by Broadly lately. In particular there ones about Coco and Life as a fairytale princess. I absolutely loved the video about Coco. Although it feels quite bizarre for a six-year-old to be able to work Instagram, it is also lovely to see a child be so uniquely themselves without feeling judged or as though they need to follow the crowd. I feel as though Broadly’s videos do not sugar coat topics; they take you behind the scenes and show you the nitty-gritty details of things. For instance, their videos on Bulgaria’s Bride market and the most powerful witches in Romania were so informative but also truthful and respectful of the culture of the subject. I really enjoy their videos and would recommend to anyone who wants to watch something a little more informative or in more of documentary style. 
  • And last, but by no means least, is Paloma’s get ready video featured on Glossier’s youtube channel. I’ve been following Paloma on Instagram for some time now and as a fellow curvy woman, I find her so inspiring. I’d say coming across her instagram and other curvy models and activists, and seeing how at home they are with their own bodies have definitely made me feel a lot more at home in my own body. 
Cheerio for now!

Book Review: Bloom

Bloom: navigating life and style, Estée Lalonde  

As a subscriber to Estée’s channel, I all but climbed on my desk and shimmy-danced when she announced her book in this video. As a subscriber to Estée’s channel, I all but climbed on my desk and shimmy-danced when she announced her book in this video. I know there is often a lot of mixed opinion about YouTubers writing books but I knew her book would be amazing, and I wasn’t wrong.

Bloom is centered around what and how Estée became who she is today. She discusses everything, and I mean everything -there’s no holding back, which is so refreshing. The book kinda revolves around the idea of blooming into the person you are meant to be and if our souls were flowers, Estée’s would be the most beautiful out of the bunch!

With eight sections, Bloom covers life, people, work, beauty, fashion, home, travel and food and is almost wrote as though she is talking to you over a cup of tea which makes the experience even more personal. I found the sections about her childhood and her past relationships with food incredibly emotional purely because of how much I resonated with her experiences. I’m not one to judge a book by its’ cover, or appearance, but I found the layout, quality of pictures and general aesthetic of the book really pleasing. I know that may sound odd to some people, but the font, page colours, page number layouts, etc are all things a bookworm like myself appreciates in a book (imagine trying to read font you can’t stand or that is too small).

End thoughts: I loved this book. It’s almost like a survival/motivational guide that resonated with so many aspects of my life growing up as well as giving me wise words and strength to continue on and to always listen to my heart. Bloom is the book I wished I had growing up, and the book I am probably going to gift all the young girls and women in my life. It is a must-read.

Have you ever read Bloom? What did you think? 
Cheerio for now! 
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Life Update: Half Time

It’s half time! Wow -I can’t believe how quickly this year is going. This past month has been pretty zen since I finished my first year of uni at the end of May. I have yet to receive my results, which I am slightly nervous about, though I’m just choosing to enjoy the summer season and beautiful weather; which of course is a rarity here in Britain! 

I’m not sure what is in store for this summer, apart from trips to the beach, some serious downtime as well as blissfully making my way through my reading list; which has grown to the height of a skyscraper since last October. I’m also really enjoying spotify playlists right now, especially the ones based around moods. Theres nothing better then discovering new tunes which you instantly fall in love with. Thanks to spotify, I have discovered bronze radio return which i’m loving. My favourite tunes so far are wonder no more, broken ocean and further on. 

I’m also becoming slightly obsessed with etsy, which is making my mac become full of bookmarks for all the neat finds I really wanna buy but I haven’t quite got that money tree planted in the back yard just yet #studentproblems 

What do you have planned for your summer? 
Cheerio for now! 

18.03.14

It was a Tuesday and it was early. Super early. Earlier then what i was used to. Normally when i’m up that early it’s because i haven’t slept at all, but this day was different. I’d had an hour or so nap and had been woken by something or another. I’d had a rough night and felt like crap. 

It’s a rare occasion when i’m awake so early. In light of that we decided to have breakfast out. We took the 20-30 minute car ride to a favourite restaurant of ours, The Carvery. 
I threw a comfy jumper, leggings and my boots on. My hair was a mess; unmanageable and resembled that of a birds nest. The only think possible was to scoop it into a bun and sprits some hairspray on it. You columnist get a brush through it let alone style it into something half decent. I looked in the mirror. Someone starred back blankly. is that me?. It didn’t look like me. In fact if i hadn’t recognised the clothes, i could of sworn it was someone else -a stranger stuck in my bathroom mirror. She was pale and cold, her eyes deep and dark like huge craters lodged in her head. 
Having the rude awaken that my eyes compared that of corpse’ bride, i was persuaded to dab some concealer on. I applied some with the tip of my finger and as quickly as i applied it, it absorbed into my skin without a trace. “Sod it”, i thought to myself. There was no point. I tucked up into my coat and we headed out. 
The weather duplicated me. The sky -a thick blanket of misery. A sheet of cloudy cold weather hovering over me. Both figuratively and literally. Atleast we’re on the same page, i thought. As the engine roared into action we set off through town and onto the motorway. I put my earphones in and tuned out. 
The middle sections of our journey always seems the longest. Not the middle of any journey or route but the middle of this particular route to get to the restaurant. We go past the Sittingbourne junction and it takes forever to get to the next junction, Faversham. Almost as though time stands still and its a never ending cycle that is forced upon us. It’s identical to my health in many ways. A never ending rollercoaster ride. Just when you’ve reached a turning point you realise there’s still a long way to go. 
Precisely 28 minutes later we arrived. Sat and enjoyed a traditional British breakfast. A plate of grease in all its glory, washed down with a brew. As the day went on my belly whined and moaned at all the junk i’d bestowed on it. Maybe it weren’t such a good idea after all. 
After that greasy trip out i reunited with my cosy pyjamas and retired to my bed where i curled up and didn’t plan on moving until i’d sufficiently renewed my energy with enough disney classics’ movies. 
Cheerio for now!

Where should i start?

I’ve been in the blogosphere for around 2-3. Flitting from private blogs, to bigger platforms, Different concepts, you name it! It all started as just a pass time, something I enjoyed doing but never expected anything from it.

I recently had a lot of difficulties with a different blog platform that I’ve been with for the past year. Coming to the realisation that the platform werent for me, i decided to start a fresh and pop on back over here. Not only was it not for me but i also realised that i weren’t writing for me no more. I was constantly caught up on what other people wanted to hear and so i was always conscious whether it would be a liked post by my readers or not.

I get that to a certain extent you have to take your readers into consideration but at the end of the day wants the point in doing something that doesn’t make you happy no more? When its more of a burden then something you enjoy? I decided to pull that plug and get back to where i started, which is right here, on this platform.

This little space of the internet is my own to do what i wish with it. I don’t know what it will become or what you’ll find on here from time to time; sometimes my mind seems to wander a little all over the place. Moreover I’m a spoonie (more to come on that) and the scheduling of posts that’ll be put up on here, is going to be a little all over the place also so bear with me folks!

Cheerio for now!