Autumn | 17

Honestly? Autumn has sucked. And those three words right there, they suck! 

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Autumn is usually the greatest time of the year for me. It’s my favourite. Halloween, Bonfire nights, the lead up to Christmas -which let’s face it, is sometimes better than Christmas day itself! Halloween has always been my favourite time of the year. The world becomes a blur of orange, purple and green, and finding the perfect shaped pumpkin is a never-ending mission. (During my nocturnal years, I remember my mom and I driving to Asda at two in the morning to rifle through there pumpkin stand. That is how committed we are to Halloween). But this Autumn hasn’t been that for me.


It started in a great way. I was three weeks ahead of my uni schedule and packing my bag to go away on a birthday trip with my boyfriend. I had my heart set on eating black-jack icecream (yes it’s a thing), wandering around Whitby, and hopefully climbing up the steps to Whitby Abbey. A couple days before I turned twenty-two, I got my nose pierced; something I have always wanted to do but never actually gone through with it. So, I was on a high. And then I got a phone call, on our last day away. It was my mom telling me that my dog, Myles, his tumour was bigger than the vet originally thought and they presumed it was down to the bone. The vet suggested amputations and MRI’s but ultimately I knew what this meant. Four weeks before this phone call, I had surgery and while I was recovering my mom told me that if it came to it (because Myles had a lump) she would rather put him to rest then have him chopped to pieces and sewn back up in the hope that we’d solve the problem. I knew that, even though amputation was an option for the vet, it wasn’t for our family and suddenly this ticking clock started in my mind. I found myself mentally predicting how much time I had left with him.

As soon as I was home, I tried to spend as much time as possible with him (he was staying with my grandparents). His lump was now infected and painful for him to stand on. He started hopping around and refraining from putting any weight on it at all. With this strain on his body, he started panting all the time and I knew he was becoming tired. We knew it was a matter of time and I’d come to terms with that idea, but it didn’t prepare me to see him physically decline. In his last few days, he stopped getting up to greet you when you arrived and he only got up when he knew he needed to go outside to relieve himself or when he knew he was being fed. He still wagged his tail when you spoke to him, and if anything I enjoyed those last few conversations we had more then anything else. The day he was put down was the worst day ever, and quite honestly a bit of a blur. So, my Autumn wasn’t great. I lost my best friend, and had my heartbroken in the process. Regardless of all of this, I’ve still found comfort in a few things…

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Seasonal Favourites

I was lucky enough to be able to attend two bonfire nights during October and November, one of which having the best food I have ever experienced. We also got to play with sparklers, sky lanterns, and even some fireworks (that sounds quite reckless but it was with friends, and we’re responsible. Or at least, most of us are). I have also been enjoying preparing for Christmas. As I write this now, I have just received an online order of gift wrap *squeals. This, in all honesty, is what has kept me going during losing Myles and I’ve tried to look forward and keep going as much as possible. 

 
Listening: 
I’ve been listening to podcasts, as usual, but have absolutely loved Estée LaLonde podcast called, The Heart of it. I loved all the episodes, however, the one featuring the topic of Strength sung to my heart a bit more than any of the others. I think as someone who has suffered from severe depression in the past, a lot of what was being said really resonated with me: plus I listened to this episode at a time when I wasn’t feel all that strong myself, which I think makes that episode stick out in my mind that little bit more. 
 
Watching: 
Okay so I’m totally late to the party with both these things but this season I have watched, wait for it… Stranger Things and Game of Thrones. No, nothing is wrong with me but in all honesty, when each of these programmes/new series’ came out I really weren’t bothered in the slightest about watching them. Now, having watched them, I can see what the fuss is about. Stranger Things was amazing and addictive. When I have my own house I’m definitely stringing lights all round it like Joyce Byers -you have to admit, those lights looked magical. I also loved the clothes they wore and I’m currently trying to resist a Borg corduroy jacket from ASOS, exactly like the one Nancy wears. 
 
Game of Thrones was unexpected but expected at the same time. I’ve seen snippets of it here and there, so I knew there was a lot of violence but I weren’t quite prepared for the nudity involved: which, I wouldn’t say I’m a prude but come on -theres a time and a place people! Regardless of this, I have really enjoyed it. I’m currently finishing up the third season. 
 
Looking forward to: 
Christmas and New Year. I’ve always enjoyed the lead up to Christmas a little bit more than Christmas day itself however, this year there’s much more going on for Christmas. I think I have five days in a row of solid plans which, although it’ll be exhausting, I’m also so excited for. I also have plans for New Year to which is the first in around 10 years, I’m so excited!

What have you enjoyed from Autumn? 
Cheerio for now! 
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Photography: James Coleman 

 

Autumn | 16


Life:
Autumn, just like Summer, was stressful in ways but more emotionally draining than anything else. Turning 21 was a difficult stepping stone and it brought with it a few unearthed emotions I had to deal with, but regardless I had an amazing birthday and was thoroughly spoilt. My health has been steadying and, while I do still have bad days and flares, I have managed to get to a steady point where I can keep my head above water.

Feeling: Going into Autumn I was drained and hadn’t really got an even balance of different areas of my life. I have definitely realized the importance of self-care, unwinding and switching off. I have come to use skincare as my ‘time’, as well as listening to podcasts with a hot brew.

Reading: Many Magazines. I have enjoyed discovering and reading a lot of new magazines lately (well, new to me). I love my Peppermint subscription, as well as catching up with Frankie magazine every so often, however, lately, I have discovered some new loves that I am head over heels with. The Messy heads, Popshot and Oh Comely are just a few. I will no doubt do an entire post because there is so much to say about each of them.

Watching: I marathon watched all The Gilmore Girls episodes in anticipation for the Reunion (I will probably end up doing a post on my thoughts about the reunion). This also made me finally invest in Netflix which got me hooked on Pretty Little Liars. I am currently on the season five so no spoilers, please. I also loved watching vlogtober. October is my favourite month, so having certain YouTubers creating content daily was really great. My favourites were The fashion citizen and sunbeamsjess.

Creating: A lot of writing. I’m currently working on a creative writing module towards my degree, so naturally, I have been writing constantly. I have really enjoyed it so far and have loved learning different techniques to help my writing grow and develop in new ways.

Recent Favourites: A lot of birthday related things. I received a pocket watch from my grandparents for my birthday, which I am absolutely in love with. When I opened it, my eyes nearly popped out my head like cartoon characters. It is truly something I will cherish forever. Another favourite was my cake -yes, my cake. My mom had a replica of my beach hut made, which was so pretty and well made; and yes, it was delicious.

Listening: I like to listen to movie scores or instrumental pieces when I study, so I have really enjoyed some of Spotify’s playlists. I’ve been routinely listening to podcasts, particularly Stuff you missed in history class, Ladies who Lunch, and Myths and Legends -yup, I’m a sucker for those history and mystery vibes.

Enjoying: My current uni module, A125 Creative Writing with The Open University. I can go into my studying/uni experience a bit more in a different post, but so far have been really enjoying this module. I have also been enjoying puppy cuddles. My mom’s partner got a red Labrador at the end of September, so I have been taking full advantage of cuddles whilst he is still small enough to bear hug.

What have been your highlights this Autumn? Are you looking forward to Winter? 
Cheerio for now! 

10 songs that should be on your Autumn playlist

Autumn is here. The weather changes and so do we, as we turn inward and reflect on the warmer months and prepare for the cooler ones to come. Autumn is the season things start to tone down as we hibernate in slumbers of warm tea, apple pies and nights around the bonfire. While it is a cooler season when many take refuge in their warm homes, there’s no reason to miss out on social occasions and what better than a great assortment of autumn tones to accompany those moments. For me, a playlist sets the tone of any moment and whether it be a bonfire night, just a chilled evening in with friends, or maybe just some time to yourself, these are some of the songs that should be on your Autumn playlist.

  • Helplessness Blues -fleet foxes: A more recent find, this song is a little bit more upbeat than some of the others below but I think it would be perfect for either car rides or even whilst baking. 
  • Drive Darling -BOY: I feel like there is so little to say about this one, so really just click the link and see for yourself. 
  • Home -Dotan: I love this song all year round, but there is something particularly tranquil about it during Autumn making it the perfect easy-listening song to play in the background.
  • Old Pine -Ben Howard: Ben Howard’s combination of music, lyric’s and his voice is always so on point and really hits a cord for me. This tune is super chill and perfect to have in the background of any situation (For this reason I keep this one on pretty much every playlist I have made). 
  • Humming Low -Odessa: Not one of the most popular Autumn song but the melodies in this song are so pretty and soothing that I couldn’t resist. This would be the perfect song for a lazy Sunday or to listen to after a stressful day. 
  • California dreaming -mamas and papas: This gem is on par with Sweater Weather and really is a must for any playlist. Perfect tune for those experiencing some summer nostalgia whilst packing away their summer garments. 
  • Dirty Paws -Monsters and Men: A calming song, with references to animals and the forest. Not the most assuming but perfect to fill the silence and play in the background. 
  • Charlie Boy -The Lumineers: I love The Lumineers and this song, for some reason, just reminds me of fall so it had to fall on this list. 
  • Drunk -Ed Sheeran: Anything by Sheeran is perfect in my eyes but Drunk is my jam all year round. It is so easy to listen to and, just like so many songs on this list, such a calming song. 
 
What songs are a must for your Autumn playlist? Let me know below. 
Cheerio for now!